A theatrical reproduction of an unhealed wound

“Loneliness is still time spent with the world”

- Ocean Vuong

Solarization by Man Ray (1930)

I want to tell you how loneliness brushed my hair when you snuck out at five in the morning.

(I remember the dirt on your walls and the stillness in your voice when you stared at it)

I want to tell you how smallness lives within me like a language I was born with ( that I no longer understand)

I want to tell you that loving you felt like a sweet tooth ache that left my gums bleeding.

I want to tell you that loving you was like a theatrical reproduction of an unhealed wound.

I want to tell you that unlearning begging is like forgetting how to ride a bike.

I want to take away poetry from you

I want to gate keep grief

I never want to tell you that his mother dying left me feeling ruptured (I understand his grief is only his)

If loneliness is time spent with the world,

It’s you against the world and me.

I want to be the soil I buried my milk tooth in.

I want to fall off the bike and scrape my knee

One last time.