Jules Saved Me

“I Think I Want To Be As Beautiful As The Ocean”

Strong, feminine, and majestic like the ocean, Jules is one of my favourite fictional characters ever. Jules Vaughn is a dynamic character that embraces fluidity and breaks free from stodgy conventions. Trans representation in Media has been rather one dimensional, focusing merely on physical transition observed from a cisgendered perspective. It was refreshing to see a trans character with so much of depth and complexity. Jules is a trans teenager who likes to experiment with vivid makeup and ride her bike but she also struggles with self expression and erratic platonic and romantic relationships. Her character is far from perfect but is raw and saves young adults who are trying really hard to understand and express themselves.

“I Feel Like I’ve Framed My Entire Womanhood Around Men.”

Being a woman is a lot of things. For me, being a woman is being fluid, real, and kind. Jules inspired me to not pander to the male gaze. We are all trying hard to be something of our own. Something that is independent of stereotypes and prejudice. It is not uncommon to grow up as a woman or someone who identifies with womanhood and feeling coerced into falling into the trap of requiring incessant male validation. Being a woman is not about pandering to the patriarchy. Being a woman is about being anything you please to be. It was so stifling to grow up as a woman trying to be something the men in my life wanted me to be. I was aching to be myself, to be a lesbian with so many conventional boundaries to shake and plenty of love to give.

For Jules, being a woman is like being like an ocean: Fierce and Feminine. For me, It’s to be Honest and Fluid, like Jules.

“At Least For Me, Being Trans Is Spiritual.”

Jules reminds me of a rather cliché but true statement. Our power lies in the things that make us different. Not conforming to the gender binary and heterosexuality makes me feel like an outsider sometimes but what younger me didn’t know was that I won’t be the only Outsider and than the Outsider’s Club is extraordinarily amazing. Jules comparing being trans to being spiritual attaches a special meaning to fluidity. It gives me a power that is ineffable but astonishingly real. Being trans has little to do with how people see you and so much to do with how you see yourself grow.

I am not exaggerating when I say that Jules saved me. I am unlearning all the ways that being a woman hurts and learning the way it feels right. My womanhood and fluidity belongs solely to me. Jules saved me because she taught me how to be a woman in all the right ways.




poetry and rants

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